Men Are From Mars
by Soleya
Summary: Somehow, Jack O'Neill ended up with the strangest team imaginable: an archaeologist, a woman, and a Jaffa. But one may be a little more foreign to him than the others... and it isn't the one from a different planet.
1. Chapter 1

I'm obsessed with early SG-1 lately... I have no idea why. Thanks to Amara for the beta!

* * *

Daniel had too many books. He crouched in the Gate Room, shoving one after the other into the tiny bit of extra space in his pack as the Stargate dialed up with a disembodied voice from the Control Room narrating its progress.

"Pretty sure you don't need your entire library," Jack told his friend dryly.

"Ah, I think I might," the younger man answered from the floor. "If all those pillars are in Goa'uld, I'm sure Teal'c can translate in half the time. But we know there are other languages out there, Jack, and I want to be prepared." He stared at the last book – which absolutely _would not_ fit – until Captain Carter took pity on him and held out a hand for it to add it to her gear.

"You gonna be a walking bookshelf for the rest of our lives?" the team leader asked. "Or just until the first rain storm soaks them all?"

He hadn't thought of that, clearly – ah, scientists in the field – and sheer horror crossed his features. "I don't... I mean, I can't..."

"Our data shows a relatively low level of humidity, Doctor Jackson," the captain offered. "I think you're probably safe." At her CO's betrayed look, she added, "This time."

"Oh. Good."

The Gate wooshed to life, and General Hammond's voice echoed, "SG-1, you have a go."

Teal'c led the way, his staff weapon firmly in hand. Daniel, eager, trailed just behind him. With an intentionally patronizing smile, Jack held out an arm. "Ladies first."

She responded in kind. "I was thinking age before beauty, sir, but if you insist."

She took the first step up the ramp, but he didn't miss the tiny wince as she hit the second. "Issues, Captain?" he said. "What was that crack about my age?"

She paused a second before offering, "Sorry, sir." And she stepped through the wormhole.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack scanned the empty treeline for the eightieth time in the last fifteen minutes, found nothing, and shifted his head side to side to crack his neck before threading his fingers together behind his head. His shoulder blades appreciated the movement after so much stillness.

He had an awful feeling that this was about to become his life – standing around, watching Daniel translate things. He understood the purpose of it – theoretically, any info about the enemy was good info – but who'd teamed up with who to defeat who three thousand years ago wasn't particularly relevant to who the big baddy was _right now_. Teal'c had a helluva lot more info on that, he'd think, though the alien's point of view was obviously skewed toward Apophis' side of things.

On the plus side, Jack was getting older, but he wasn't ready to leave the field yet. At least playing guard duty kept him off a desk.

On the minus side, he was well aware that a horde of Jaffa could come through those trees at any moment, and if he got too used to being a rent-a-cop, he'd be all but worthless when that moment came. He needed action, and he planned to keep himself in top form until his creaky knees absolutely, positively refused to make it up that ramp.

Even then, he wasn't sure he'd take a desk. He'd probably just resign. Again.

Which reminded him, he could have spent the last two hours fishing instead of standing here...

Movement caught his eye, and he glanced over to see Teal'c back up a few steps as Daniel got to his feet. "Done with that one?" Jack called.

"Yeah," the geek called back.

"So, what?" He surveyed the field of rubble and broken off pillars scattered around it. "Nine more?" Eighteen more hours. Two days.

"No. Done with _this one_ ," Daniel called back, his finger tracing a square around the text on that side of the stone. To emphasize his point, he stepped solidly around the corner to the next face of the same pillar and sat down.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud," Jack muttered, shifting his gaze back to the treeline. Ten pillars, four sides was forty sides. Two hours each made eighty hours, which was... His lower back twinged at the very thought of it. Irked, he started a nice, leisurely walk around the outside of the ruins.

"Everything all right, sir?" Captain Carter asked as he approached.

"No," he said crisply. "This bites."

A grin flashed across her face, lighting up her features, and something in his chest lifted.

And immediately hardened again. It irked him that he had a soft spot for her already.

"Sir?" she asked, and he realized he'd frowned at her.

"Nothing. Never mind." His eyes roamed the treeline again, mostly to get them away from her. "If he's gonna be at this for a week, don't grow roots here, huh? Take a walk. Pop a squat. Something."

"Thank you, sir." She immediately shifted to half-lean, half-sit on the crumbling wall behind her.

"I think we're gonna be stuck here awhile," he said, moving to continue on his circle.

"Great." She sounded as thrilled about that as he felt.


	3. Chapter 3

"Tonight's the night, Daniel."

The archaeologist finished rolling up his MRE wrapper and cast an uncertain glance at his team leader. "Or we could just sleep under the stars. They're beautiful."

"It's gonna rain," Jack said.

"Captain Carter said it wasn't," Daniel shot back.

One finger pointed to the line of clouds in the distance. "Captain Carter may have been wrong."

"I said the humidity was low, Doctor Jackson," she spoke up from the other side of the fire. "It wasn't likely to rain then. That doesn't mean a storm can't roll in."

"The time has come," Jack reiterated. "Learn how to set up the tent, or let all those books get wet."

"I will assist you," Teal'c offered.

"Oh, this should go well," the colonel said dryly. "I'd help. Really. But nature calls."

They'd set up camp between the ruins and the treeline, and he headed for it, ignoring Daniel's protestations. He could hear the other two men – one frustrated, one cool and collected – trying to figure out the fabric and supports as he clicked on the flashlight and stepped into the forest. He didn't have to go far; there was a cluster of bushes with some sort of tasty and probably lethal berry a couple of feet in.

Even through the trees, Jack could see them bumbling with the tent in the fading light, and he wondered briefly why he'd done this to himself – put an alien and an archaeologist on his own team. _Fought_ for them, even. He'd created an unholy mess for himself. And he had no one to back him up – not really – because his fourth was a woman. And a scientist.

Just _one_. He just wanted _one_ other gun-loving, ass-kicking, beer-drinking soldier like himself. But no. No, he'd created the universe's oddest team for himself (and Carter. She wasn't his doing), and he was gonna have to live with that. Some day the two of them would figure out how to set a damn tent.

As for the last member, she still sat by the campfire, mostly in profile, picking at her food. She did that more than he'd like, if he were honest. She had a nice figure – he couldn't complain about that at all – but he always carried this niggling concern that she was about to pass out on him from lack of calories. He just hoped it would happen some day they weren't running from a horde of Jaffa. And when it did, they were gonna have a _talk_.

He zipped his pants and stepped back toward the campsite as she took one last bite, wrapped up the rest, and stuck the garbage back in her pack. She emerged with something he couldn't quite make out in the gray of dusk, but it became pretty obvious when she twisted off the cap, shook it into her palm, shoveled the contents of her hand into her mouth, and took a drink. He debated just filing that away, keeping an eye, but had to walk right past her, anyway.

"Twist something?"

She jumped, more startled than she should have been. "No. I, uh..."

He was ninety percent certain he knew what was in the bottle, but she was one of those psychotic type-A overachievers, and they did crazy things. The last thing he wanted to add to his gaggle of misfits was a speed freak. He held out a hand, and she put the container in it without a fuss.

Ibuprofen. Fine. "Again, I say: twist something?"

"Just a little sore, sir."

He nodded. "But not an issue?"

"No, sir."

"Good." Glancing up at the clouds, he said, "Well, if we plan to sleep anywhere but in the rain tonight, you and I should probably give them a hand with that tent."

"Yes, sir."

He didn't miss the grimace as she got up.


	4. Chapter 4

Carter had had last watch – because Jack was an exceedingly nice guy, or because interrupting Teal'c's kel-no-reem didn't seem to be an issue and he wanted to stick it to Daniel and wake him up in the middle of the night – and she was sitting by the fire, her elbows on her knees when his watch beeped and he ducked his head out of the tent. "Any invaders in the night?" he asked.

"Yes, sir." Her tone was just as wry. "The mothership landed just over there, but don't worry, Teal'c and I fought them off."

"Good job. Got any coffee going?"

"Not yet, sir."

"All right. I'll be back in a minute." He could see Teal'c already at the ruins – good man – and he tossed his hat at Daniel's sleeping bag to wake him before heading for the trees. He'd already reached his spot by the time the archaeologist emerged, looking disheveled as he always did in the morning. What that man needed was a buzz cut.

Carter was moving almost as slowly as Daniel, though she'd been up for hours. One hand swiped across her lower back, and he nodded a little in sympathy – standing there all day had done a number on his, too. She was younger, but he wasn't surprised; Sara had had issues with her lower back, too. Something about how women's hips were aligned, or some crap. Regardless, he wondered if she'd share that ibuprofen.

The archaeologist passed him as he headed back to camp and took the cup of coffee Carter offered, giving it a test sip. "Way better than Daniel's," he decided.

"Glad it's up to your standards, sir," she said with a smile.

"Maybe you should get last watch from now on. Provided the coffee's ready when the alarm goes off."

"I could make that happen."

"Worth thinkin' about." He ducked into the tent for his vest, carefully nestling the drink upright to slip on his vest and clip his rifle to it.

He passed Daniel on the way out, who held up his own cup and whispered distastefully, "She makes it a little strong."

"Yeah. It's delicious."

The other man made a horrified face.

"Hop to it," Jack ordered. "Nine more pillars to go."

Work, far more than the coffee, perked him up immediately. "So, I think these pillars were built at different times. Y'know, four at first, to hold the building, but others came later as it expanded. Teal'c thinks this world had multiple rulers, so it's possible that-"

But Jack had already tuned him out, squinting at the opposite treeline to make sure they didn't have visitors of the human(ish) or large animal variety, debating where he could stand to get the most shade for the day, and wondering if they needed to fully extinguish the fire, since their extra firewood was damp. Staring at the embers, he saw Carter lean down to pour her own cup of coffee. She sucked in a sharp breath, face twisted. But it only lasted a second before she stood carefully upright and started for her pack.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"Nope," he clipped. "Grab your gear." Jack brushed past him and headed for his second and the fire. "You good?"

She glanced up in surprise, and there was no sign of the pain he'd seen seconds ago. "Yes, sir."

"All right. Let's keep the fire hot."

"Yes, sir."

He watched her for a moment as she banked the ashes, searching for any sign of... anything. "Teal'c said you asked him to show you a few things," he ventured.

"Know thy enemy, sir," she quipped back. "Can't hurt."

"Oh, but it can. A buddy of mine used to leave me black and blue."

She nodded. "He's trying to be gentle, but I weigh a little less than the people he's used to. I tend to go flying, I'm afraid."

A-ha. Maybe the alien needed a not-so-subtle reminder that they didn't all have supercharged immune systems and healing capabilities. "Don't break anything."

"It's getting better," she said. "I actually landed a few good punches the other day. Of course, he didn't flinch. At all."

"Frustrating, isn't it?" he asked with a grin.

"Extremely."

Clapping a hand on her shoulder, he offered, "Well, you're not alone there. Daniel! Move it!"


	5. Chapter 5

There were deer on this planet. Well, something like deer. They were smaller, slighter, with legs that faded from brown to nearly black near the hoof. They didn't seem to be afraid of SG-1, lunching silently near the treeline a hundred yards from the ruins, and Jack wondered how long it had been since the place had seen a human.

And then he wondered if he was thinking about it all wrong, and they were missing something, and the place saw humans all the time. He scanned their surroundings again.

And spotted Captain Carter twenty feet away, leaning heavily against one of the low stone walls. She hinged at the hips, her lower back overly arched, her eyes closed.

And her face read sheer pain.

The second she heard footsteps, she straightened – mostly – but the damage was done. "A little sore, my ass," he accused, irritated. "What's going on?"

Her cringe probably wasn't because of him. "Sorry, sir."

"Don't be sorry. Tell me what's wrong with you, Captain." If she was sick or injured or generally unfit to be in the field, he needed to know that – and pronto.

"I just... I slept through a dose of ibuprofen last night. I usually try to stay ahead of it, and it's fine, but-"

"Ahead of what?"

The cringe worsened as she scratched uncomfortably at her scalp. "Uh... Girl stuff, sir."

He blinked. And then, like the enlightened, formerly married, completely comfortable with women's issues man he was, he croaked, "Oh."

Turning her face away, she muttered again, "Sorry, sir."

Well, didn't he feel like an ass? "Is it always this bad?"

She huffed. "No. Not for years. It actually used to be much worse. I'm okay, really. And if we were walking or running from bad guys or... doing _anything_ , honestly, it probably wouldn't bother me so much. But just standing here... I've been doing theorems in my head to distract myself, but it's not really working."

"All right. I can handle watch," he offered. There was nobody around, anyway. "Why don't you, uh..." Stare aimlessly at the animals like he'd been doing?

"I'm actually kind of interested in these rocks, sir. They have some characteristics that are pretty rare on Earth."

"Take rock samples!" he finished. "You have the stuff for that, right?"

With a smile, she said, "I'll make do."


	6. Chapter 6

The deer were gone, and nothing had emerged to replace them. No predators. No people.

Not even a freakin' bunny rabbit.

Jack scanned the treeline again with a sigh. After fourteen hours of guard duty this mission, it was burned into his brain – the tree with leaves a little darker than the others just to the left of the yellow bush that was being overtaken by some sort of vine that climbed the next three trees... Geez, he needed this mission to be over. "Anybody finding anything interesting?"

"Uh... This world was once ruled by a Goa'uld named Atok," Daniel called back. "I don't know; maybe it still is."

"Atok is dead," Teal'c offered.

"Never mind."

"Pillar about a dead guy," Jack mused. "Nope, not interesting. Carter, whatcha got?"

"Looks like ocean jasper, sir," she called from her little corner of the ruins.

He raised an eyebrow. But he was bored, so he headed her way. "I don't see any oceans."

"This area may have been covered in water once, like much of our planet. But geologists think this stone comes from magma high in silica."

It still didn't sound interesting... until he looked at the stone beneath her hands. It had been cracked, sheared in half, and the inside was a sunny yellow covered in tiny spheres of bright pinks, blues, and greens. "Wow."

"Yeah." She shot him a grin. "We have it at home, too, but only a few veins in one tiny part of Madagascar."

"Madagascar. Is there anything you don't know, Captain?"

With a shrug, she offered, "We can only see the color because lot of these rocks are broken, and I don't know why. A large-scale bombing would have leveled the pillars, too. Seismic activity, maybe, but I would expect cleaner lines and less field damage that way."

"So, from above, but not large," he mused. "Shelling, rather than one large bomb. Meteor shower, maybe?"

She raised an eyebrow. "That's a theory. I haven't found anything that would imply a large impact, but there are certainly some glassy rocks around here that must have been formed by heat. And a field of small impacts could create a set of... kind of micro-earthquakes, I suppose, that would have broken these."

Jack scanned the sky. "Are we gonna die in our sleep tonight?"

Her laugh was warm, smooth. "No, sir, I doubt that."

"Excellent news. You feeling better?"

"Yes, sir, thank you. I just needed something to do."

"Good. Carry on." He headed back to his post.


	7. Chapter 7

Carter had spent a good seven hours digging in the dirt, which couldn't have been easy on her back. Which was obviously why she sat on the log by the fire in a deep hunch again. He hoped. Jack settled beside her. "How you feelin'?"

"Uh..."

At least she'd eaten. "The correct answer is 'better,' Captain."

A wan smile crossed her face. "Better, Captain."

"Not better, huh?"

She shook her head. "I really thought I'd kicked it earlier, but I guess I got my hopes up."

"How long does this usually last?"

"A day or two. It'll be better tomorrow. When we get back to the SGC, sir, I'll deal with it. I promise this won't happen again."

He blinked, eyeing her as she nibbled her protein bar. "How the hell can you promise that? Last I checked, this was a monthly thing."

"It's... not quite that simple," she told the ground in front of her feet. "There are... medications that can help. Birth control," she confessed. "I had it all handled."

Boy, he was learning more about her than he ever needed to know. "And what changed?"

"I started going off world. We got captured on our very first mission. And Doctor Fraiser and I decided the pill might not be the best thing, in case something happens and I have to miss doses."

"Is it that big a deal?"

She didn't move her head, though her eyes slid up and over toward him. "It would be a _bigger_ deal in captivity, sir. You know the Air Force recommends birth control for all women in the field, right? For their own protection."

Protection? He glanced up at her in confusion. And a millisecond later he remembered what happened to female POWs – what could happen to _her_ – and his stomach turned.

"The different formulations all do the same thing, but in slightly different ways and with slightly different side effects. There's an injection," she continued. "It's good for ninety days. It would have been perfect, but..." One hand gestured vaguely at her hunched-over body.

"Not workin' for ya."

"Not so much."

"You gonna be able to ride it out?"

Her smile was wry. "Wouldn't be the first time."


	8. Chapter 8

It was warmer than it had been the morning before, and Jack felt uncomfortably sticky as he rolled out of his sleeping bag. Tugging back the tent door, he stepped into the breeze and flapped his shirt a few times. The air outside was a good ten degrees cooler.

And it smelled like coffee. Turned out Carter was a fast learner in more than just science. Without even having to look, she held a mug back toward him, and he took it. He'd drink coffee in hundred degree heat. And that wasn't just theory – he'd done it. "Morning."

"Morning." Her elbows sat heavy on her knees in a posture he'd grown used to the past few days. He settled on the stump beside her and took a long sip before looking over.

Maybe it was the sort of bluish-pink of sunrise, but he doubted it. "You're pale, Captain. You gonna make it?"

To his surprise, she chuckled. "You've never met my family, Colonel, but I come from the whitest of white people. I'm always pale."

"You are pal- _er_ ," he told her. "Is that normal for this?"

She nodded a little. "I'm just... kind of drained, sorry."

"Do we need to head back?"

"No." The answer was immediate. "No, sir. I mean, thank you, really, but no. It's starting to get better."

Her complexion said something completely different. "It is?"

He could see the half second when she considered lying to him and couldn't. "No," she confessed. "But it's going to."

God, he wished he really understood this. She looked awful, but she'd lived through it every month for how long? Through the Academy, through years of service already... He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Tell me again, Captain. That you're okay."

She tried to smile. "I'm okay."

"Okay." Pushing to his feet, he turned toward the tent. "Daniel! Let's get this party started!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Am I crazy, or is the dialect different on this one?" Daniel pulled out a sheet of paper and held it carefully over the column in front of him as he rubbed it with charcoal. "I think it's newer."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "It tells of a mighty battle, and..."

The archaeologist glanced up as his teammate trailed off. "And what?"

"This world once belonged to Anubis."

"Anubis." Daniel blew out a breath. "God of mummification and the afterlife; patron god of lost souls."

"That is apt. Anubis has no soul," the Jaffa said tightly.

"For cryin' out loud, Teal'c, none of 'em do." Jack didn't particularly want to be part of this conversation, but it kept his attention off... other things. Things he didn't want to deal with at the moment.

"You obviously feel pretty strongly about him," Daniel offered. "What do you know?"

"Anubis was once merely a warlord in service to Apep," Teal'c explained.

Jack gave a blank look, and Daniel said, "Apep, the god of chaos and darkness. So, enemy of the sun god, Ra."

"Well, the enemy of my enemy, you know."

"Anubis rebelled," the Jaffa went on. "He killed his god. And ate him."

Jack and Daniel exchanged a look of various shades of disgust before the older man ventured dryly, "Tasty..."

"He believed he could become the supreme ruler – emperor above all System Lords. Ra gathered an army against him. The resulting war lasted for fifteen generations."

Jack did a little math. "Three hundred years. Ra won, I'm guessing."

"Indeed."

"So this guy's not exactly a problem anymore." He drew a finger across his neck.

"He has been banished."

Both humans blinked. "Banished? Not killed?" Daniel asked. "Banished _where,_ exactly?"

"I do not know."

"See, I _told_ you this stuff was useful," the archaeologist insisted to Jack.

He had a point – an angry ex-System Lord who'd fought Ra for centuries could be an issue with his enemy gone.

But the fact that Daniel had a point about this stuff was really, really irritating. And it meant they'd be staring at rocks more often. Biting back a sour retort, he opted to turn his attention outward.

And then he got _really_ irritated. Because there she was, kneeling over a section of rock but not really looking at them, eyes closed. And for a second, he'd forgotten about that. He'd been trying to ignore it all damn morning, because he'd given her credit for her honesty just three hours before, and it turned out she was full of crap. She wasn't just not getting better, like she'd said. No, she was definitively worse than she'd been the day before, and it really pissed him off. He'd been trying to be _nice_ to her, dammit, and that pissed him off even more. It wasn't his job to be nice. "Captain!" he snapped, earning a glance from the other two men before they went back to their discussion, "you look like you're dying."

"I'm good, sir," she called back.

And that just irritated him more. Because maybe she was. Maybe he was being ridiculous. He almost wished she were bleeding, or unconscious, or... something tangible. _Something_ that would tell him this wasn't normal and it was time to head home. He knew how to triage someone; he knew how to give a field neuro exam after a head injury, but he knew absolutely nothing about this. And it irked the crap out of him.

"Are you up on your meds?" he demanded as he joined her at the edge of the stones.

She stood. Mostly. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"How much and when?"

"Uh... two, about an hour ago."

"Two hundred milligrams?"

"Apiece, yes, sir."

"Take two more."

She blinked. "Sir?"

"I take eight hundred for my knee, so it's obviously not gonna kill you. Maybe it'll even _help_ ," he pressed, sharp.

"Yes, sir." One hand waved vaguely over toward camp. "I'll have to, uh... I'm out."

He stared at her in disbelief. " _Out_ out?" Good God, if this was what it was like _with_ meds, what was it like without?

"No, no. Just... I didn't bring over the whole bottle. I figured I'd get more at lunch."

"Go," he dismissed, waving her toward her gear.

"Sorry, sir." The wince as she hurried away probably wasn't physical pain, and he tried to feel bad about making life worse for her and failed. A team was only as strong as its weakest link, and at the moment, she was undeniably it. For cryin' out loud, no wonder the Air Force didn't want women on the front lines, if they were gonna spend three days every month curled up in a ball. He watched, annoyed, as she knelt beside the pack sitting just outside the tent, popped two more pills in her mouth, and chased them with a drink from her canteen. Done, she stuck the bottle in her vest instead and started to push to her feet.

Agony ripped across her features as she sank again, hugging her knees to her chest, head down. She teetered a little, and for a moment, he thought she was about to pass out.

"All right, that is _it_ ," he growled, stalking toward her. "Daniel, pack your crap."

The archaeologist spun around and stared at him. "Huh?"

"You may not have noticed with your nose in the rocks, but your teammate is _literally_ keeled over, and even if _she_ can take it, _I_ can't."

"Whoa, what?" They jogged to catch up with him. "Jack, what's going on?"

"Sir-"

"Pack your crap," he ordered. "We're going home."

"Please don't do that, sir," she begged, pushing to her feet – though not upright. "I'm fine, really."

"You can hardly stand up!" he shot back. "You should not be in the field right now. Not like this."

"I swear, by tomorrow-"

"You said that yesterday."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Captain, I have a duty of care to the people under my command. This isn't just a problem from a readiness perspective; do you get that?" he pressed. " _I_ am responsible for the fact that you're in pain. _I_ am responsible for the _fallout_ of you being in pain. And I am done. We're taking you home where the doc can deal with this."

Swallowing hard, she stared at his feet, her words so soft Daniel and Teal'c stepped closer to hear. "Respectfully, sir, I am the only woman on a field team right now, and I practically had to murder people to get here. If you cancel the mission because of this, I will be the only one _ever_. They will never let another woman step through that Gate."

Maybe that was how it should be, if they couldn't hack it in the field. He opened his mouth to retort when Daniel said, "She's right, Jack."

He glanced at the archaeologist – just for a second – to tell him to butt out.

But his eyes caught the glasses and the shaggy hair and the book in the other man's hands, and he stopped short.

Because Daniel couldn't hack it in the field, either. No, Daniel was the saddest excuse for a soldier Jack had ever seen: bumbling and love-struck and damn near afraid of guns. And Jack didn't just put up with him – Jack had _chosen_ him. Jack had _fought_ for him.

In a team of "only" - the only alien, the only civilian – it seemed pretty damn petty to pick off the only woman. For something she couldn't even help. Especially when he knew she was right about the fallout. It would be bad enough for _her_ in the rumor mill. But it would be a dead stop for anyone who wanted to follow in her footsteps.

Everything he knew said he _should_ drag her home. For her health. For the team's safety.

He just wasn't sure he could be that big of an asshole. He'd driven a lot of nails in a lot of coffins in his life, but this one...

"I will carry Captain Carter's pack, if that is of assistance."

Jack eyed the Jaffa beside him with disdain for the betrayal. Daniel backed her, Teal'c backed her... "Fine," he relented. "You wanna be in pain? Be in pain."

Relief came out in a huff. "Thank you, sir."

Hands down, that was the weirdest thing anyone had ever thanked him for.


	10. Chapter 10

"Anything new?"

Daniel shook his head. "More about the great and powerful Anubis. But nothing useful, really."

"Not what I want to hear," Jack said.

"Not what I want to tell you."

Teal'c headed toward them from the end of the row. "It would appear this sector was given to the Goa'uld Tiamat after Anubis' banishment."

"And Tiamat is..."

"Babylonian," Daniel offered.

"Dead," Teal'c told them.

Jack pressed his lips together. "Well, then."

"Who came after that?" the archaeologist asked.

"Marduk. Ra, perhaps," the Jaffa offered. "The pillars do not speak of this."

"You think they're older?"

"I do," he told Daniel.

"Please tell me you're getting something useful here." Jack sounded exasperated, even to his own ears. This mission was working his very last nerve.

"I don't... I mean, from an archaeological perspective, it's fascinating. It's very, very old. But battlefield intel? I don't know. I would think some of this knowledge could come in handy. But... I don't think we'll know what's useful until the moment it _becomes_ useful, you know? And so theoretically it all is."

The older man pressed his fingers against his eyelids with a sigh.

"Sorry; we're working as fast as we can."

"Yeah. I know."

Daniel bit his lip. "Is she feeling any better?"

"Doubt it," he muttered, rolling his neck.

"Don't be mad at her, Jack," Daniel requested softly, keeping his voice far away from the ears of the woman in question. "This isn't her fault."

"I know that. I'm not mad at her. But I'm still mad." At both men's questioning looks, he said, "I'm pretty freakin' annoyed to be stuck off world and a man down, because you know damn well she'd be all but worthless if a battalion of Jaffa came running through those trees. I'm really freakin' pissed off that I can't make the right call about that, because dragging her home like I _should_ is apparently also making some giant political statement about women on the front lines, and politics is not my thing. And I am _livid_ that the medical staff thought it was okay to change the medications of one of my soldiers and send them into the field when they knew damn well this could happen."

Daniel blinked. "I missed something."

He had no inclination to repeat the conversation he'd had with Carter about her birth control, and he just shook his head.

"I wish there was something we could do to make her feel better," the archaeologist said.

But there wasn't. And that made Jack mad, too.


	11. Chapter 11

It was too warm for the tent, and Daniel and Teal'c had decided to try and pack it up. They'd managed to tear it down, and under other circumstances, watching them try to fit all the pieces back into the bag might have been amusing.

It wasn't.

Carter shifted again on the ground to his right, trying to get more comfortable – though none of the positions she'd tried so far seemed like they would be. Her nearly untouched dinner sat on the ground next to her. "Is there anything else that might help?" he asked.

The words had lost the anger of earlier, but still, she cringed. "I thought about the hand warmer packs, but we didn't bring them. Usually some sleep gives the ibuprofen a chance to catch up. But then I keep sleeping through doses."

He kinda wished she'd mentioned that earlier. "All right. Sack out, then. You get last watch."

"Thank you, sir." She looked truly grateful, relieved, and humiliated all at once. "Once we get back, I swear-"

"Yeah." He waved her off and checked his watch. "When was your last round of meds?"

She checked hers, too. "Almost two hours ago."

"Okay. Get some sleep."

~/~

The beep on Jack's watch pulled his gaze from the deep woods, and he stared at it for a moment before remembering why he'd set it. It had been four hours since Carter's last dose of painkillers. He'd meant to wake her, but he glanced at the sleeping bag and second guessed himself. She'd tossed and turned up until the last forty-five minutes or so – it seemed cruel to put her through that again when she'd finally found some peace.

But it was better to stay on a schedule – to take the meds and keep the dose up – than wake in the morning with nothing in her system. If the last few mornings hadn't proven that, he'd learned with his first broken arm: certain the drugs weren't doing anything, he'd stopped taking them. And been horribly wrong. And it had taken _hours_ for them to kick back in.

With a sigh, he walked around the fire and touched the lump in the sleeping bag that he really hoped was her shoulder. "Captain." When she didn't answer, he shook a little harder. "Captain."

But there was no reaction at all, and an uncomfortable feeling bubbled in the pit of his stomach. He found the top of her sleeping bag in the firelight and tugged it back to touch her face. "Captain Carter."

The skin under his fingers was covered with sweat and icy cold. He yanked the flashlight from his belt and found her pale, edging on gray but for a flush around her nose. She shivered and didn't open her eyes.

"PMS, my ass," he muttered. " _Carter_."

It was loud enough that time to rouse Teal'c, who rolled to his feet. "Is Captain Carter unwell?"

"Daniel!" he yelled, searching for the sleeping bag zipper and yanking it open. "Grab the flashlight and lead the way. Teal'c, smother the fire and catch up."

"What?" The archaeologist blinked as his friend lifted their teammate into his arms. "What happened?"

" _Move_ , Daniel," he snapped. "Leave your gear." The small light he'd started with would have to do until the other man got his ass in motion. Jack shoved to his feet and started toward the Gate as fast as his legs could carry him.


	12. Chapter 12

Daniel broke free of the treeline a hundred feet ahead of his teammates and sprinted for the DHD. The dialing sequence seemed interminably long, but the wormhole finally engaged and he called into his radio, "This is Daniel Jackson. We need a medical team in the Gate Room immediately."

"Understood, Doctor Jackson," the technician answered, and there was a brief silence while he relayed the message. "We'll be ready for you."

The archaeologist headed for the Gate platform, sticking a hand in it to hold it open as the rest of SG-1 crossed the distance. He was last through, and he stepped into the SGC to see his team leader headed down the ramp to the gurney that was rolling in. "What can you tell me?" Doctor Fraiser asked. Her penlight was in her hand as she checked vitals before Jack had even put her down.

"Severe abdominal pain," the Colonel answered. "It's been building since we left."

That earned him the ugliest, most disbelieving look he'd ever seen, and he defended, "She swore it was PMS."

"She was wrong."

Yeah, he'd figured that out himself. "I checked on her about an hour ago and found her like this."

"Abdominal ultrasound. Prep the OR."

The gurney was already rolling, but Jack caught the doctor's arm in concern. He couldn't help but think about what she'd said about captivity and missing doses, and he managed, "Is this a miscarriage?"

Fraiser blinked. "I don't... It could be a lot things."

And then she was gone, leaving the three male members of SG-1 alone at the bottom of the ramp. Daniel had overheard the last exchange and asked, equally concerned, "They wouldn't let her go through the Gate if she were pregnant, right? Would they?"

Jack swallowed hard, intentionally avoiding his eyes. "Every test has a margin of error. They may not have known. Hell, _she_ may not have known."

He headed for the infirmary without another word.


	13. Chapter 13

It was more than four hours before Doctor Fraiser appeared and headed toward them. "Surgery went well," she told them. Then, directly to Jack, she added, "She wasn't pregnant."

Thank God. He was so overwhelmed with relief that Daniel beat him to the next obvious question. "What happened to her?"

"Uh..." She tapped her foot. Pinched her nose. Made a face. Finally, she decided, "It's a woman thing."

Jack was on his feet in a split second. "Oh, _hell_ no," he growled. "I've had about enough of that crap. What happened?"

Fraiser raised an eyebrow. "You're sure you wanna know? Really sure?"

"I watched my wife pop out a _human_. I can handle it."

Fair enough. "Okay. Well... Every month a small cyst forms on one of a woman's ovaries, and when she ovulates, the cyst bursts to release the egg. They come and go, painless for most women, and it happens without incident for decades. But every so often, one of them doesn't resolve on schedule. They can grow to be quite large, usually extremely painful. And if a cyst gets big enough, when it ruptures, it can cause serious damage."

"She was bleeding to death," Jack surmised.

"Yes. Colonel, if you'd waited another hour to get her back here, we'd likely be having a completely different conversation."

"Wait." Daniel shook his head to clear it. "You're saying this was a fluke."

"Yes."

"And it nearly killed her."

She shrugged. "It's rare for it to get this serious. But it happens. She's lucky she wasn't home alone."

"Might it happen again?" Teal'c asked.

"It could. A woman who's had one abnormal cyst is more likely to have another. Some women are very prone to them. But I'm not seeing anything about it in her records. I have no reason to believe it's happened before, or that she had any idea what was going on."

Daniel rubbed his nose. "Can we see her?"

"Sure. She's in Recovery. I'll have one of the nurses take you back."

Jack waved them on and headed for the exit instead. "I gotta go update Hammond."

~/~

Jack hadn't returned by the time Captain Carter moaned a bit, pain creasing her forehead. Daniel winced, too, because he knew what was coming next.

She blinked a few times, taking in the infirmary around her and the two men who sat beside her for a long moment before she mumbled, "Wha' happened?"

Daniel glanced up at his companion and realized he was going to get zero help from Teal'c. "Uh... I'm sure Doctor Frasier can explain better than we can." It was such a cop out, he knew. And he embraced it wholeheartedly.

But her brow furrowed deeper. "Is it bad?"

"Oh. No, no, you're fine now," he soothed.

"'Kay." Her eyes slipped closed, and he thought he was off the hook until she asked, "'S'there some water?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Hang on." Ducking between the curtains, he found a nurse who provided him with an ugly pink plastic cup and a straw.

He lucked out. By the time he got back, she was asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

God, she hurt – everything inside the curve of her left hip throbbed. Sam needed more meds, but she wasn't about to open her eyes and ask for them. Her _ovary_ , of all things, had tried to kill her in the field, and wasn't that humiliating enough without having to admit she was a total wimp in the face of a little pain, too? After she'd fought so damn hard?

She shifted, trying to find a comfortable position, but all that did was send spikes of agony all the way up to her ribs. She heard herself grunt.

Someone moved to her right, and she tried to flatten her expression so the nurse wouldn't see how much pain she was in. She obviously failed, because the voice said, "Hang in there. I'm calling the doc."

Colonel O'Neill.

So much for not humiliating herself any further. "I'm fine," she managed, not daring to open her eyes and look at him.

"Uh-huh. If I've learned anything this week, it's that that's a lie."

Was it possible to sink into the cot and disappear?

Heels clicked their way toward her and stopped entirely too close. "Colonel?" the doctor asked.

"She's hurting," he said simply.

"Captain?"

Crud. She looked up to find the doctor staring down at her.

"How bad?"

"Pretty bad," she admitted, her voice annoyingly rough and shaky.

"Okay. Just breathe for me. I can take the edge off pretty quick." Digging through a few drawers, she emerged with a vial and syringe and injected something into her patient's IV. "Give that just a few minutes."

"'Kay." Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to imagine the drug making its way into her system. And failed.

Beside her, Colonel O'Neill slipped his fingers into hers and squeezed.

She bit her cheek hard. Not from the pain. But because, of all the horrific things she'd done this week in front of the man who probably wouldn't be her CO much longer, she absolutely drew the line at crying.


	15. Chapter 15

"If you're waiting for me to leave, you're gonna be waiting a long time."

He was talking to someone else, clearly, because Sam was certain she hadn't moved a muscle – including her eyes – since she'd woken up again.

"A _long_ time," Colonel O'Neill said behind her. "So I hope you're not thirsty. And IVs always make me have to pee."

Damn. Blinking a few times, she settled her gaze at her feet and murmured, "I'm sorry, sir."

Out of her range of vision, one brow arched.

She wasn't going to cry, she reminded herself. But things had to be said before they parted ways. "I know I've been a royal pain in your ass, but... it's been an honor serving with you, sir. I mean that. Being out there – being a part of SG-1 – was... more than I ever imagined. I'll never forget that."

"Carter."

"And I'm sorry I let you down, sir." The words came out horrifyingly close to a whimper. "I know you expected better. So did I."

"Carter, for cryin' out loud."

The words were irritated – rightfully so – and she clammed up, her eyes still glued to her sheet-covered toes. He didn't say anything else, but he _sat_ there, dammit, and she wished he'd just leave so she could cry in peace. And then get more painkillers for the body that had failed her so completely at the worst possible stage of her life.

The colonel's thumb and forefinger traced his eyebrows, pushing away the irritation before he rested his chin on his hand. "I had a buddy in Iraq," he said finally. "Squint. Damn good spotter. We usually worked in teams of four – two of us headed for a target while one guy covered us with a sniper rifle and Squint called the plays. But I wasn't terrible with a rifle myself, and sometimes we paired up. Squint and I started off for a compound one night, hiked until the sun came up, then bedded down until we could move again. Except that he couldn't," her CO pressed. "He'd done something in his sleep, and he was in so much pain he couldn't even stand. He told me to go on – to finish it alone. And I could have. I thought about it. But I just knew it was the wrong call. I knew I had to get him back to base."

"What happened to him?" Sam asked softly.

The sound he made could only be described as a pained chuckle. "He'd, uh... twisted a nut," her CO told her. "It spun around inside and cut off its own blood supply."

"Oh, God," she managed. That sounded incredibly painful.

"The docs did some surgery, told him he could still have kids, and life moved on. They told _me_ that if I hadn't brought him back, gangrene would have killed him right there in camp. It was a _fluke_ ," he pressed. "Some random, one in a million, wacky thing. Sound familiar?"

She nodded.

"It shouldn't, because it's not the same."

Surprised, her eyes flew over only to find his staring intently back at her. "That was an easy call," he pressed. "I understood what he was feeling – physically, mentally. I understood the kind of pain it took to get him to that point – and what could do that. I understood Squint's weak spots, because I'd spent decades in a body a helluva lot like his. And then there's you." Elbows on his knees, he leaned into her, militantly holding her gaze. "I don't even have the pieces and parts that blew up on you yesterday. I have no concept of what that felt like or the kind of pain you were in. All I could do was take you at your word."

Her eyes dropped, and he caught her chin to bring them back. "Tell me," he said, and though the request was quiet, it was firm, "did you know you were in trouble? Did that little voice in your head ever _once_ tell you this was serious?"

She just couldn't hold his gaze as she confessed, "That night. Just for a second."

"Then _that's_ where you went wrong." He let her go but didn't back down. "You're not gonna like what I'm about to say, Captain, but here it is: we're _different_. Physically different. We have different limitations. I won't judge you for being sick. I won't judge you for not being able to lift something, or reach something, or for asking for help. I get the path you're trying to blaze here, but playing Wonder Woman isn't gonna get you there. It's gonna get you hurt. Or it's gonna get somebody else hurt. And I cannot express to you how pissed off I'm gonna be when that happens. I need you to be honest with me, Captain," he pressed. "That's the only way this can work."

Sucking in a breath, she managed, "I'm still on the team?"

"Squint and I were running ops three weeks later." He pushed to his feet. "So rest up."

"Yes, sir."


	16. Epilogue

"Do I have something in my teeth, sir?"

Jack blinked at his teammate over the screen of her laptop. "What?"

"You keep looking at me. Is something wrong?"

No, apparently everything was just fine, but he wasn't sure how to explain that. In fact, he'd just as soon never bring it up again, especially with two other SG teams milling about, but she was still staring at him, and he ventured, "It's the end of the month."

She blinked. "And?"

Damn. "How... are you feeling?"

"How am I... _Oh,_ " she exclaimed as understanding hit. The end of _last_ month had ended with her in the infirmary. "I'm fine, sir. A little twinge last night, a dose of ibuprofen at bedtime, and I'm good."

"Good. Good."

There wasn't much to say after that, really, and he just kind of kept nodding.

So did she. "You're not gonna... like... start tracking this or anything, are you, sir? That would be-"

"Weird," he supplied.

"Weird," she agreed.

"Yeah."

She nodded again. "Yeah."

He did the same. "So."

"I'm gonna..." She pointed to her laptop.

"Right," he said. "Good talk."

He turned around and went to find his other two misfits.


End file.
